Away from the noise of the City – after several thoughts of having at least a day break of relaxation or to just run away from any business commitment, I just decided to visit Tatay’s grave. But little did I know that the four corners of this memorial park will totally change my plan, it gave an inner peace in me. As it was a moment for Me, myself & I.
As I recount all the memories I shared with Tatay, I was interfered with the thoughts about memories of the past – My own memories for the past 24 years. I realized, God has never left me. Never in a day did I walk alone along this journey. Of all the stupid, crazy & funny things I did in life, I just can’t help but thank God. Simultaneously, my mind keeps on thinking about Tatay, my family & my life. Not a second did I think of my future, I don’t know. I have this habit of not worrying about what I will eat, what I shall wear, or what will happen tomorrow, I just trust everything to Him. Who would think that staying at a cemetery will beat all my wishes to go to Boracay?
Yes, I appreciate the beach. I love beaches. But then again, I didn’t know there’s a lot more on this planet to appreciate. Trees, green leaves, and the skies. Alone with a confused dog, which maybe thinking; “why on earth am I here?”. I laid my back against a tree, put off my footwear, wore my shades & looked at the skies. I maybe hallucinating by every image I see in it, but it was really amazing, just looking back all the memories. Again, I realized that smiling & crying comes along very well.
There are lots of things that ran inside my mind when I was there: I miss Tatay when he used to fetch me from LRT station after a 9pm class back in college, I hate myself for being a rude daughter, granddaughter, sister, friend, and person sometimes. I Thank God for not leaving me in times of loneliness, every time I cry in my room over a heartbreak. I Thank God for the scene in front of my naked eyes, a peaceful place not only for dead people, but for me, it was also a place for people with dead emotions. I was revived and awakened just being in that place. And I recommend people to visit a memorial park, not only to visit a loved ones’ grave, but also to meditate. Since it’s a quiet place, no one can see you talking alone J or crying your eyes out. And the last thing that made me so amazed, was when I looked at Cheenie; How come God created dogs, to be domesticated? Well, as for me, Cheenie (and Cheeno) & I shared many memories, She (they) saw my life’s ups and downs for a year now. Dogs are truly blessings to mankind. And trivia: a dog was mentioned in the bible, and it is a greyhound. Anyway, I prayed to God to continue blessing me with happiness and contentment in life. Then after all the realization, I talked to Tatay. I asked him if he’s ok, if he’s happy for me, if he’s looking over us from there. After being so emotional, I stopped. This world is a good place, but heaven for sure is a better place to live in. Why cry for a loved one who’s up there without having any problem of hunger, sadness, and pain? I just said to myself, “No one is ever really gone as long as their memory lives on within you”. So I said my farewell to Tatay.
While walking through the exit gate, though my eyes were filled with happy tears, I find myself smiling to each and every person I came across the road. I maybe drooling over some summer pictures of my friends in a beach, but still, I’m glad I had this day in a year which I must say; the happiest summer getaway of my life.
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