No beach this summer.

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Away from the noise of the City – after several thoughts of having at least a day break of relaxation or to just run away from any business commitment, I just decided to visit Tatay’s grave. But little did I know that the four corners of this memorial park will totally change my plan, it gave an inner peace in me. As it was a moment for Me, myself & I.

As I recount all the memories I shared with Tatay, I was interfered with the thoughts about memories of the past – My own memories for the past 24 years. I realized, God has never left me. Never in a day did I walk alone along this journey. Of all the stupid, crazy & funny things I did in life, I just can’t help but thank God. Simultaneously, my mind keeps on thinking about Tatay, my family & my life. Not a second did I think of my future, I don’t know. I have this habit of not worrying about what I will eat, what I shall wear, or what will happen tomorrow, I just trust everything to Him. Who would think that staying at a cemetery will beat all my wishes to go to Boracay?

Yes, I appreciate the beach. I love beaches. But then again, I didn’t know there’s a lot more on this planet to appreciate. Trees, green leaves, and the skies. Alone with a confused dog, which maybe thinking; “why on earth am I here?”. I laid my back against a tree, put off my footwear, wore my shades & looked at the skies. I maybe hallucinating by every image I see in it, but it was really amazing, just looking back all the memories. Again, I realized that smiling & crying comes along very well.

There are lots of things that ran inside my mind when I was there: I miss Tatay when he used to fetch me from LRT station after a 9pm class back in college, I hate myself for being a rude daughter, granddaughter, sister, friend, and person sometimes. I Thank God for not leaving me in times of loneliness, every time I cry in my room over a heartbreak. I Thank God for the scene in front of my naked eyes, a peaceful place not only for dead people, but for me, it was also a place for people with dead emotions. I was revived and awakened just being in that place. And I recommend people to visit a memorial park, not only to visit a loved ones’ grave, but also to meditate. Since it’s a quiet place, no one can see you talking alone J or crying your eyes out. And the last thing that made me so amazed, was when I looked at Cheenie; How come God created dogs, to be domesticated? Well, as for me, Cheenie (and Cheeno) & I shared many memories, She (they) saw my life’s ups and downs for a year now. Dogs are truly blessings to mankind. And trivia: a dog was mentioned in the bible, and it is a greyhound. Anyway, I prayed to God to continue blessing me with happiness and contentment in life. Then after all the realization, I talked to Tatay. I asked him if he’s ok, if he’s happy for me, if he’s looking over us from there. After being so emotional, I stopped. This world is a good place, but heaven for sure is a better place to live in. Why cry for a loved one who’s up there without having any problem of hunger, sadness, and pain? I just said to myself, “No one is ever really gone as long as their memory lives on within you”. So I said my farewell to Tatay.

While walking through the exit gate, though my eyes were filled with happy tears, I find myself smiling to each and every person I came across the road. I maybe drooling over some summer pictures of my friends in a beach, but still, I’m glad I had this day in a year which I must say; the happiest summer getaway of my life.

Goodbye Tay!

After knowing that my open-letter has reached Senator Noynoy, I knew he will come and visit Tatay. He did.

When Ms. Viel and daughter, dropped by to the hospital to share some experiences they've been through when their Mom was also suffering from the same illness, she assured us that they will continue to pray for Tatay. For the second time in a day, Tatay's eyes brightens with hope and willingness. Regardless of his situation, he still wanted to serve. And we Thank the Aquino family for that. Tatay has been fighting against cancer, to fight for others. That was Saturday.

Sunday - With a heart overwhelmed with joy, Tatay convinced us that he is recovering very well. Whenever there is a free time, I make it a point to read all the comments of the people from the internet - the most sympathetic and caring people I admire so much. I showed him his pictures with the Senator, he keeps on smiling and my relatives keep on teasing him, "pogi ni tatay oh". And I would read again at least a comment or two. I wanted him to know that people had been praying for his health. I went home to take a rest. We thought he is recovering. We were wrong.

Monday - I cried after discovering that Tatay started to forget me. He even forgot the names of the people he has been with the room overnight. He didn't want to wear the hospital gown. He can barely recognize my face, our face. I can see through his eyes that he wanted to shout, but has chosen to just look away and sob. My sister explained why, the ammonia that is supposed to be released by his body has spread through his blood, causing his brain to be disoriented. Before, he always wanted to see all of us in front of his sickbed. But this day, all he wanted was for us to all get out of his sight. This is his way of telling us, " let me carry your burden. I can do it by myself. Go away! I don't want to see you cry." The moment of truth has come. The doctors informed us about the terminal condition of Tatay. But We can at least rely on one last resort - Cardiopulmonary resuscitation. An emergency procedure for people with cardiac arrest. While the nurses were preparing that procedure. We all decided to pray outside. Prayed for God's will to be done. Asked God for forgiveness. And thanked Him for the days we shared with Tatay. Going back to the room is like walking through an empty hallway. Seeing only Tatay at the end of it. I can't help but cry. Knowing that my lolo may survive this procedure, but cannot, in any other way, stand up and live his normal life. As the saying goes, between pain and nothing - I'd chosen nothing. I surrendered Tatay to God. I don't want to prolong his suffering, though my heart is not yet ready to let him go. "Laban ka tay ha! Laban ka pls..." and I can hear him responding through his oxygen mask.

One by one, we went beside Tatay. Being a very debative man, Tatay has always been our "mortal enemy", be it in politics, showbiz (yes showbiz) and even our love lives. He is always involved. And that involvement was not even appreciated before, rather misinterpreted as "pangongontra". So each of us said our apologies. Our confessions. Our promises. After my turn, we've watched the most dramatic scene in the room. Tatay went back to his senses. He called Nanay. "tingin ka sa mata ko", he said. Then Nanay started singing their favorite song. Tatay is singing along. More of a humming. His tattoo showing from his right leg - Nanay's portait. Nanay is a very strong woman. I can't imagine myself going through a lot- having my youngest son killed in the street, and now, my husband fighting against cancer. And all I can do is just sing. This was the most unforgettable moment of Tatay's struggle. Worship song playing in the background, Smiling faces with tears in their eyes, A strong man fighting with his last breath. All i can do is just close my eyes and pray........

A straight line appeared in the monitor. Tatay's eyes shut down. No one panicked. Tatay is just sleeping. After 2 hours, we had no choice but to surrender the dead man's body to the morgue staff. Kissing a dead man is the warmest thing a person can experience. The love overflowing our hearts conquered the fright. We said our last goodbyes. Tatay is in heaven now. Looking over his 6 children and 23 grandchildren.

While preparing for Tatay's wake, we were very happy for the flowers sent by the Senator. A true representation that until the very end, Senator has been there beside Tatay. Even on the days of his wake.

Tatay may be gone, but his words will always remain in us. Always believe in God. Take care of your health. Take care of Nanay. . Tatay was gone, leaving us not a single coin, property or possession, except for this very precious thing - the family tie. Tatay has been praying to God. He said he wanted to see his children together again in one place. Now, Tatay hasn't just brought us closer together, he also taught us to value each member of the family. And whatever happens, RESPECT YOUR PARENTS. This gift is the most special gift, a man can offer. This tie will never be broke again. As long as I live, I promised Tatay that I would take care of all my cousins.

I realized that crying and smiling goes along well together. Instead of crying my heart out for the lost of the head of our family, I found myself smiling. A voice repeatedly playing on my mind. "Ano bang iniiyak nyo? ang importante lumaban ako.".

Tatay's story will always be remembered as a typical cancer patient story. Some may also connect it to politics. But No! As for me, and for the Aquino family, I am certain. Tatay made a change. We will always love you and We will fight for what you believe.. Goodbye, Tay!.


Thank you to all the people who reposted the open-letter. Thank You to Atty. Lacierda who made an effort to inform Senator Noy about my whereabouts to make the surprise visit to Tatay possible. To Sir Rapa & Dr. Ayco. Thank you Mr. Reginald Imus of Makati Med.Thank you Dr. Cornejo. Thank you very much! I know u did all that you can do to save Tatay. You have proven that you profession do not equate any monetary amount, but sincere hearts that believe in your capacity. God Blees your good heart. The people who visited my Tatay. And most especially, to the Aquino family. My words may not be enough. Tatay said Noynoy will win. I know right now, he is having a "debate" with God. :) You will win. Our all out support. - Alonso family


Danilo's Residence
Blk 14 Lot14 Purok 8 Bagong Tanyag Taguig City.

HINDI AKO NAG-IISA!

I know it's too much, but last night I prayed to God, I asked him to show up to heal tatay.

Little did I know, God has proven and shown himself to me. In the person of Senator Noynoy. The rest of the nation believes in him, and by him, people will pray...

Our prayers will reach God.


I always believe in God. I know I've seen God. I have experienced God.

And I want the whole nation to be close to God through prayers.

Now, I do believe, HINDI AKO NAG-IISA......

Please pass and pray for Tatay.

My open letter was closed. Sealed with a kiss.

As we always believe... this man will never ever disappoint us.

Tatay's wish was granted. Noynoy visited him here in the hospital. It only goes to show what kind of man he is.. a very good-hearted one.

Tatay was shocked seing Senator Noynoy. But we were more shocked when tatay tried to sit after being bed ridden for 4 days. The smile in his face - PRICELESS.

God bless this man... I am so proud I have chosen and will forever support him.
But there are two people up there far more proud than anybody else - Mr. & Mrs. Aquino.

My blog is a living testimony that simple people like us, are worth of his attention and sympathy. Tatay said: "Hindi mo na kailangan pang ikampanya"

No doubt.
A hero was born.

My open letter was closed. Sealed with a kiss.

AN OPEN LETTER TO NOYNOY

Excuse me for using ALL CAPS as a subject. I just wanted to catch your attention,honestly. But as expected, this letter might be sent, but not read.

I am very eager to do this very impossible task. And will do everything just to make our lolo happy.

When Ninoy Aquino died- very strong and driven, my lolo was there on the streets with the rest of the country
.
When Mrs Corazon Aquino became the president- happy & very proud,my lolo was there as a very obedient citizen.

When Mrs President died - still strong but grieving, my lolo, went again to the streets to show his love & respect to the late president.

August 21, 2009- On Ninoy's death anniversary, my lolo together with his wife, his son, his daughter-in-law and five of his grandchildren went to Manila Memorial Park to visit Mr & Mrs Aquino's grave. Just a few months ago, when my lolo was still very very strong.

My lolo, 63, can hardly earn a living, but still, he has chosen to serve the community by being a barangay tanod. While my lola enjoys selling dry goods in her little store near the market.

Just 4 days ago, he was confined at Makati Medical center. In general, we are told that my lolo has a multiple organ malfunction. First, his liver, and then, his kidney.. and so on.

Just 4 hours ago, we were in the hospital's hallway... praying & crying for help just hearing the bad news... The doctors said, our beloved lolo was diagnozed with cancer, and like any other cancer, it has it's order - in the 4th stage. But not like any other typical scene, we were not informed on how many days, weeks, months, or years will our lolo live.

Of course, lolo didn't know yet anything about this. But he can feel it. He got a little curious why our eyes swell. and why do we look so sad. we just told him, we're happy.

Little did we know, "Tatay" as we call him, caught our attention. He said he wanted us to vote for Noynoy, not anybody else, he feels like he has a little attachment with the family, though he knows no one can ever appreciate all his loyal efforts, unless the family would found out. We just cried. This cannot be it. The usual last request from a cancer patient seen on movies. We don't claim it. Cancer is just a name.. All names bow down to God.

Reality bites. The least that we can can do is make him happy. He wanted to meet Noynoy in person. He wanted to see & meet the Aquino family.

From the very hectic schedule of Mr. Noynoy Aquino, we understand that this request might be a bit impossible. Well, at least we tried.

Tatay expected to see the Aquinos... I know it cannot, in any way, heal or make his illness disappear. But all of us would be glad seeing him happy and contented that his wish was granted.

I am afraid, this will be his last request in this world. I will be, and we will be more happy If his wish will come true, while surviving cancer and he would carry this happiness as long as he lives. I know God will make a way. God Bless!!

Joylyn Alonso
Makati Medical Center Room 779
0916-5389088